Friday 4 April 2008

Respect

Many things annoy me. I'm a pretty angry sort of bloke. I regularly scream at my television. And my computer.

Along with drivers that don't stop at pedestrian crossings, people who smoke cigars in pubs, unleashed dogs, politicians who sow fear and hate, greedy agents, queue jumpers, mobile phones and mosquitoes, the external imposition of a style structure really pisses me off. It shows a lack of respect for the beer culture of others.

Want examples? Belgian Quadrupel and Bohemian Pilsener. Neither terms are used by brewers or drinkers in their supposed country of origin. In coining and using these names, what's being said is "We know your beer culture better than you do yourselves". What could be more disrespectful?

But I hate being left out. So I've thought up a few style designations of my own that I'm going to start using.

Mild Brown Ale (MBA) - pale brown in colour, OG 1.045 - 1.060, ABV 4.5 - 6%, relatively lightly hopped.
Black Porter - a Porter that is neither brown nor robust.
Roast Overload Stout (ROS) - a Stout brewed from both black malt and roast barley.
Single Pale Ale (SPA) - any Pale Ale under 5% ABV.
Imperial Brown Beer (IBB) - like a Porter, but over 14% ABV.
Half Barley Wine (HBW) - like a Barley Wine, but under 7% ABV and fewer than 120 IBU's.
Double Dunkles (DD) - dark lager of 6.5% ABV.

Any guesses as to which country these beers come from?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Probably the country that saved from modern day commercial extinction many of the classic, traditional styles that you so often write about...

All things in perspective Ron.

Cheers,

Andy

Ron Pattinson said...

Brewers, not countries, have saved styles. I applaud them. And brewers who try something new.

We're naming no names here, so it's hard to be sure. I'm don't think you've guessed right on the country question. Because you've made one big assumption.

Perspective - maintaining it in particular - is one of the main reasons I blog. Getting an immediate response to what I write. Like thinking aloud. You might be surprised how influenced I am by responses.

Anonymous said...

I agree with andy when he says perspective.

Marketing speak has created and solidified more alleged styles than the BJCP.

Anonymous said...

You missed out Imperial Mild, a sweetish, low-hopped ale that likes wearing a Union Jack dress and waving a trident while singing "Land of Hope andf Glory" at the Last Night of the Proms.

And Australian Bitter, which doesn't find Barry Humphries the least bit funny, loves Test Series whitewashes and wants a republic declared in Canberra as quickly as possible.

And Slovakian Pilsner, which to outsiders is indistinguishable to Bohemian Pilsner, but refuses to share the same bartop as the Czech version.

And Munich Stout, which is not a beer style but the globular body shape brought on by a diet of 25 litres of Helles and two zettners of assorted pork products every day.

And Milk Porter, which, again, is not a beer, but the man who brings you the semi-skimmed when you order tea at Fortnum and Mason's.

And Mouseback Ale - like Brown Ale, but brewed by Farrar and Ball to a Lovibond colour rating that matches the shade of paint on the walls of an obscure National Trust property in West Warwickshire ...

Anonymous said...

The disrespect you wrote about is the partner of mis-information, both of which are produced in abundance by the BJCP, Ratebeer and Beeradvocate.

While all three of those organisations are based in the USA, judging by the created styles you listed, I would guess the country you were referring to was the UK.

Ron Pattinson said...

zythophile, I would have mentioned Imperial Mild,. If I wasn't planniung to release one. Conflict of interests and all that.

Spencer said...

Take a deep breath. Hold it. Now let it out slowly. Have a beer. Relax. Let out the hostility.

You'll feel much better.

At least after having a beer. :-)